My Spiritual Journey
I was born a Catholic. I was baptized and some of my favorite memories in childhood were attending church with my grandparents. I loved the stained glass, the smell of frankincense and the feeling of community. By the age of ten, I wanted to be a priest. I then learned I could not be a priest and started thinking of being a nun. I longed to be close to God and know as much as the priest. I started taking classes to get make my Holy Communion. Around this time, my beloved pet cat died. My CCD teacher informed me that cats did not go to Heaven because they were soulless. Here I began an existential crisis.
In middle school, I dragged my mom to church but I started having questions. I began to learn about the Holocaust and began my own research of the Judaism. This research, marked the first time, I was learning about another faith. I liked what I read but there were no synagogues near us to visit. I then met a friend who was Wiccan. She taught me about this world of ancient beliefs that predated Christianity. I began researching Wicca and the ancient religions of the Romans, Greeks, Egyptians and the Norse. I read about modern Paganism as well as ancient. I started also researching Buddhism and the Kabbalah. Since then, I have not stopped my research. In college, I took a world religions course and learned about more faiths to research and try. As a literature major, I chose to study Native American literature as well as African American Folklore to better understand the faiths of the North America. I also took a course that introduced me to a basic understanding of Islam.
My journey has taken me to different churches, temples, pow wows, meditation experiences and to meet and discuss faith with different people. I have studied lectures from Joseph Campbell, read Thich Nhat Hanh, Eckhart Tolle, Gary Zukav, Jen Sincero, Gabrielle Bernstein and many more. I have tried many different forms of meditations, taken classes in crystal healing and chakras. I have practiced yoga for many years and learned divination at a young age. I am familiar with A Course in Miracles, the works of Scott Cunningham, magick, manifestation, spirit guides, tarot cards, astrology and am still learning and seeking.
What I know is this: there is no wrong way. As Joseph Campbell, pointed out in his work, all myths/faiths share commonalities. His Holiness the Dalai Lama has said it does not matter the path you take because they all lead you to the same place: God, The Universe, The Divine, etc. Broken-Better has been created to help teach what I know so that you may find your own light and become closer to whatever higher power you believe in.
My grandmother used to say, “God only gives you as much as you can handle.” Well, I think God breaks us down to rebuild us better. At times, it feels like you cannot handle this life or this world. It feels like you are a victim and that the world is cruel. But if you surrender you will be free. Surrender to God, release your victim story and you will be liberated. You will be here in this present moment, free no matter what physical bonds hold you down. Jesus went to his death free. He had surrendered and did not see Himself as a victim. He was free in His mind and soul. He was liberated before death. He knew Heaven on this Earth. The Buddha became enlightened: He saw how to leave the wheel of suffering and learned how to be free here and now. You too, can be free.