Release Fear: A Simple Ritual
Fear is truly the mind-killer as it is explained in Dune. If we can release our fears we can move forward stronger, happier and more connected.
For this ritual, you will need:
something to write with
a candle (optional)
Time to journal/think (this depends on you)
Time for the ritual itself (less than half an hour)
To begin, I suggest trying to recall the root of your fear. You may have many worries or anxieties that are rooted in one fear.
It could be a fear of being unlovable.
A fear of being different.
A fear of being alone.
A fear of change.
A fear of commitment.
Try journaling or meditating. You can list your common worries or anxieties and see if you can find a connection. Now see if you can find a root. Sometimes the beginning of the fear is so long ago or so buried in our unconsciousness we may not know where it began but we can at least find a connection.
Once you have found a root fear. Write it down as an I statement: "I am afraid of being alone." Read it aloud.
Next, close your eyes and try to imagine your childhood self afraid. In your mind, tell your childhood self that she or he no longer needs to hold onto this fear. This fear does not make you safe. It keeps you from living your life. Forgive yourself for believing this fear and holding on it for so long.
Then read the words you have written. But change afraid to unafraid, " I am unafraid of being alone." Then either rip the paper into pieces, burn it or crumble it up--whatever feels good.
Take a deep breath and smile if you can.
After this ritual, if you find yourself slipping into patterns of this fear again, first forgive yourself then remind yourself that you no longer need to be afraid.
Fear begins as a healthy survival tool. As we grow, we learn of dangers and we learn to be fearful as a way to keep ourselves alive. But as we age, some of these fears shape-shift and begin to grow bigger and stronger. They become anxieties and phobias making it harder for us to live our lives and be truly happy. Fears become judgements and worries. They shape into limiting beliefs we have about ourselves and others. We begin to believe these fears as facts and internalize them.
As a child, my mother didn't really want me around. I was raised by my grandparents who loved me but my mother was different. I learned early on as a child that I needed to earn my mother's love. I feared she wouldn't love me as is, so I worked for her love. This fear then morphed into decades of people pleasing. It wasn't until I released this fear that I could truly love without need.